Doubts

We're well into our third month of school this year, our fifth year of homeschooling. I sit here feeling dejected. Dejected about homeschooling, about parenting, about being a wife, about my relationship with food, about my purpose on this earth. The devil is at work, this is for certain.

Another night of sleep interrupted by a trip to the loo and then by a barrage of thoughts that have no place being in my head at any time, let alone at 3:30 a.m. ... Until about 5:30 a.m. So when I finally go back to sleep for a time and wake up to start the day, I am groggy, grumpy, mad, sad, losing hope that I can make it through the day successfully. I don't teach as well. I don't parent as well. I don't keep the home as well. I have no energy when my husband gets home from work and then I head to my job for a three- or four-hour chunk of time many nights. And then I go to bed again. Wake up. Repeat cycle.

What is this all for? The glory of God? That's what my days should be for. But I'm not focusing on glorifying Him when I feel lethargic and near apathetic at times. I'm, frankly, self-absorbed when I feel this way. How can I get some rest? Who can I get to take care of me? Who can I get to watch my kids for a day so I can be alone? I throw a mini (sometimes larger than mini) pity party for myself.

Is this the life God planned for me? I highly doubt it.

My kids are in quiet time right now so I can have some moments to ponder our situation.

Pray. Be still. Listen.

Act.

Above all, God is reminding me to refocus. Take the focus off of me, my family, my situation. Focus on Him. Focus on Him. Focus on Him.

There are so many distractions in this world. Some on the news, some going on right in my circle of friends. And Facebook. Stinkin' Facebook. I'm not on it for long periods of time, but I do check it multiple times a day, just like my e-mail. It's just another distraction.

So here I sit, resolved to focus on God again. It's been about a month since I've done that. And not so surprisingly, it's been about a month since I've felt "less than." He is my Rock. Without Him, I will sink.

Heavenly Father, please renew a right Spirit within me and anyone else who may read this and be in need of your intervention. In Your son's precious name, Amen.

School has begun!

Had our first day of our fifth year of homeschooling yesterday. Aaah...it went so well. I am loving our version the workbox system and will be sure to blog about it soon. Being organized just does it for me. And my kids are certainly taking to our new system very well.

I feel better about homeschooling each year, and I am absolutely convinced that this is what God wants for our family at this point in our lives. I'm often asked if I will homeschool through high school, and I repeatedly answer that that is my plan, but I'm not sure what God's plan is. Who knows?

Oh, yeah. God does.

I love that our first subject every day is Bible. What a way to start the day! My kids are well aware that the first drawer they open will be Bible. My hope & prayer is that they continue to seek God first every day when they are adults and making decisions on their own.

I hope everyone's school year is going well!

{Not} Back-to-School Blog Hop: Schoolroom!

While browsing other people's blogs this morning, I was reminded that it's Schoolroom week at Heart of the Matter! Click below to get more details.



I must admit that I have a tad bit of schoolroom envy this morning. ;) Such wonderful spaces I've seen! Colorful, creative, fun! As you can see from my pictures, we haven't started school yet. Supplies remain in bins, and I've got a couple boxes of curricula waiting for me at the post office.

So we obviously do school at our kitchen table. We no longer have an extra dining area to corral the school goodies, so it's just out there. That would have bothered me back when I started homeschooling. I had desks for the kids, a bulletin board, a cabinet dedicated to "hide school" in our dedicated schoolroom. Well, we live in a smaller house now, so our options are fewer. But I love it! I'll love it even more once I get all of our curricula and organize.

This first picture is it! Like I said, everything is still in bins, but you get an idea.
















We are implementing the workbox system this year. I will blog more about that later, but these are the organizers I found last week.




















And finally, my favorite part of our schoolroom. . .the view. A lush Iowa bean field (and next year it will be a corn field, of course!). :) I love the feeling of openness it brings to our room, even on this humid, rainy day.















I'm really enjoying looking at everyone's setups.

Happy Monday!!!

{Not} Back-to-School Blog Hop

I'm joining in on the fun over at Heart of the Matter!

Brandon (9) - Fourth Grade
Naomi (6) - First Grade

Bible
This will be our first subject each day that I'll be leading. We'll be using the "Choosing..." series by Kaye Freeman, starting with "Choosing Obedience." They are each 16 lessons, and I haven't decided if I'll do one lesson a week and focus on that each day or one lesson a day. Need to spend a little more time looking at the book that we just received.

Math
Brandon: Saxon 5/4
Naomi: Saxon 1

Grammar
Brandon: Easy Grammar
Naomi: Various resources

Handwriting
Brandon: We will continue with New American Cursive, along with copy work
Naomi: Copy work

Reading
Brandon: Daily selected readings
Naomi: We will continue with Hooked on Phonics

Spelling
Brandon: Daily Spelling Practice
Naomi: Superteacherworksheets.com lessons

Art
For both, we'll have art at least twice a week, no particular curriculum.

Science
Brandon: Aplogia "Exploring Creation with Astronomy"
Naomi: I will modify Brandon's lessons to Naomi's level

History/Geography
For both, we'll be using Homeschool in the Woods, beginning with "New World Explorers." We'll also use supplemental resources.

Here is the weekly schedule for {Not} Back-to-School Blog Hop: